4 ways to be a more mindful parent during this year end
The best gift we can give our children is our presence.
Time flies and it’s the end of the year now! With school holidays and Christmas coming up in the next few weeks, there are many things to do & plan with our families and friends. Some families may organise & attend multiple Christmas parties, while other children have various school holiday activities to attend.
All these hustling and bustling can feel overwhelming for both parent and child, and these may result in more arguments, whining and meltdowns at home. Parenting mindfully can be challenging during this period, but it is not impossible. Here are four ways that we can do to manage our overwhelm, minimize chaos & struggles at home - so that we can have a joyful end to the year:
1. Notice the triggers
Children thrive on routines and their regular routines are often also not followed during this time. This can be stressful and overwhelming for them, as there will be a lot of people, sounds and noises while moving from one place to another.
By understanding our child’s triggers, we can minimise the chance that they will struggle to regulate their emotions or feel anxious in unfamiliar locations. Be aware that our child might not be in their “best” behaviour if their routines are different than usual. Telling our child in advance on what to expect and who they will meet helps them to feel prepared and assured.
For my child, we usually try to plan our activities around his mid-day nap as he gets overstimulated easily and will not be able to wind down for his naps if we are out at a location where it is noisy & crowded.
2. Plan to manage our stress
Other than managing our child’s triggers, we also need to be aware and manage our stress during this season. Having strategies to notice our triggers and stress, and having a plan on how to calm down will be helpful. Some possible ways include:
Asking your partner to be involved in the planning of festive celebrations and take over in engaging the child when things get too overwhelming for you
Have a evening wind-down routine that you enjoy - it can be as simple as enjoying your favourite beverage or doing slow yoga
Say no to parties and gatherings that you don’t feel comfortable being in
Our child are attuned to our emotions easily. When we feel calm, we can help our child to feel calm too.
3. Make time for connection
There will be days when we have places to go, shopping to be done and classes to attend. Amidst the busy-ness during this period, we might forget to be with our kids. By setting aside some time each day that we are fully present with them, they feel more connected with us. Some things that you can do with your kids include:
Reading some books together
Playing together and allowing your child to take the lead
Chatting during bedtime and listen to their thoughts, feelings & observations
My favourite time with my child after a busy day is reading books. He loves it when we read together, as he enjoys being close to me and having quality time together to enjoy each other’s presence.
4. Review your expectations
Sometimes we might want to look at our expectations about the year end season and notice which thoughts and beliefs are no longer bring joy to us and our family. We might have a belief on how Christmas “should” look, or our child needs to maximise their holidays to be expose to various activities and get a good “headstart”.
It might get a little uncomfortable reviewing these expectations, but it is a start to new begnnings and new perspectives. The year end season might be then more joyful and peaceful to you and your loved ones.
Happy holidays, all!
